i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
even my farts smell like vagina
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
