It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
not ubering you a puppy
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
