thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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