drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
