I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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