now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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