stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
