He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
