do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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