she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
