piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
