would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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