Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
