Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
