Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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