I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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