Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
