youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
