He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
