I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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