I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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