Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
