We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
