I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
false alarm, still single
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
