Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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