She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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