Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
