whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Randomize
