thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
