Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
now i know why i became what i already was.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
