He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
