ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
