I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
