Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Small penises have feelings too.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
