yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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