I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
