ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
