He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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