you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Even my vagina gasped.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
