i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
