you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
