It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
