Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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