Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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