Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
