So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
