we have officially lost it.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
