All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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