i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We got so high we made milksteak
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
