I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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