So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
